Just A Guy Declaring Raising Kids Takes Luck!

Posted on November 14, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

It isn’t just a factor in Vegas. It’s a factor in everything in life. And, I believe it’s one of the biggest influences in how our kids turn out. Yes, every yuppie thinks they will do it better than every generation before and many of us do make parenting a bigger priority, but I assert raising kids takes luck!

Coming from a showbiz background, I saw how luck was a contributor to so many people’s success. Why did one actor “luck out” and get a career-making role like J.Lo in “Selena” while another whose name we don’t even remember got their “break” in what turned out to be a flop? Luck.

Cosmo, the wonderful Donald O’Connor star of “Singin’ In The Rain” sang “Make ‘Em Laugh” in that seminal musical number, but I say “Give ‘Em Luck,” for life and kid success. A little laughter along the way won’t hurt though. In fact, I’d suggest watching that number whenever you need a lift. We all know parents that have done everything “right” yet have kids who are addicts, failures at school, and more. We also know many lazy, lousy parents whose kids turned out great.

I don’t believe we should just rely on luck, but don’t discount it either. And, don’t beat yourself up when your kids disappoints and blame yourself or your spouse, or your divorce, or your own problems. That can make a difference, of course, and we all should do our best job at parenting. Luck is a non-negotiable, uncontrollable factor but, what do I know; I’m just a guy. But I will still assert – raising kids takes luck!

Just A Guy Who Is Very Grateful

Posted on November 7, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

(Note: I consider this an early Thanksgiving-themed blog – enjoy)

I attended the Bar Mitzvah of a friend’s son recently. This young man has some relatively severe learning disabilities. Yet, his parents provided him with the sort of support that was full of love and understanding for him. The rabbi adjusted the service to allow him full participation, within his limits, and it was as loving a right-of-passage as possible, with an equally classy and terrific party afterward.

Even the weather cooperated, as their theme was a rainbow and at just the right moment, with all of the guests gathered outside, the rabbi asked us to turn around. We saw the setting sun actually make e a slight rainbow, as if Industrial Light & Magic were hired to create it.

Just A Guy Having the Sex Talk (with his kids)

Posted on November 1, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

I remember when my dad had the sex talk with me. It was at a BBQ joint with sawdust on the floor. He talked mostly in euphemisms and I didn’t really understand much at all. Not a great beginning as I fumbled along for years to come.

However, I was determined to handle things differently with my boys and, as luck and coincidence had it, I ended up having the sex talk with each boy in the past few months. I sort of had it with my older one before, but he’d gotten a girlfriend and I had to be sure he understood the rules, obligations, and risks. So, we had a second talk, so I could be confident he knew the basics.

With my youngest, it occurred spontaneously the other evening at a crowded Japanese restaurant. It was amazing how little he understood or knew from school. For instance, he thought a woman could get pregnant any time of the month.

Just A Guy Wanting His Sons to be Men

Posted on October 31, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

Does anyone remember when men were men? When boys looked up to their fathers and other men and wanted to be men just like them in their “manly ways.” Now, with elementary education completely hijacked by women, there’s been a systematic change in how boys are educated and raised. When is the last time you saw a male teacher in elementary school? Do you really think the self-esteem movement has done anything but diminish any real accomplishments? Father just want their sons to be men.

Why are boys dropping out of high school at a much greater rate than girls? Why is the percentage of young men entering college now substantially less than young women? Why are boys in elementary school made to read books about subjects that are clearly of a female nature/subject vs. the books they’d organically choose to read?

Just A Guy Frustrated With E-Mail

Posted on October 24, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

I completely love e-mail, as I dislike the phone–cell or hard-line. My former career in showbiz was spent on the phone so now I love the freedom of answering and responding to e-mail whenever I want. However, I am frustrated with e-mail as it is fraught with problems and, as I just read, is rapidly becoming anachronistic as more immediate forms of communication, such as IMs and Twitter, are taking over (among the younger generation specifically).

The thing that I keep on forgetting and can’t seem to learn is how e-mail is not the same as direct dialogue. Subtlety rarely comes across and sarcasm usually is lost. Then, there are the bigger risks when dealing with the opposite gender of being misunderstood and accused of flirting or the like.

Just A Guy Farting: Part Two

Posted on October 17, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

I hope you all read my first blog on guy farting and especially watched the attached video. We’ve attached it again, along with another favorite of the “genre.” What is it about farting that is so funny?

So, my wife still does NOT think it’s funny, though occasionally she will snicker in spite of herself. She’s seen the video of the couple in bed and the other morning, I swear, we ended up mimicking them almost word for word!

It was that just before dawn time when you’re only half-awake. Our three dogs were lying on their beds, in our room, peacefully sleeping. One of them, our oldest, actually snores slightly. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, while in my sleep, I farted. Woke both my wife and myself up.

Just A Guy Talking About Women’s (Sex) Parts

Posted on October 15, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

My recent blog about women’s bleeding provoked a comment that inspired this blog. Another dirty little secret about men, but one that I’m sure is less a secret, is how lame, naïve, and uneducated we can be about how women’s sexual parts work. And, what WE have to do to take care of them.

When I began having sex, no woman took the time to tell me what I was doing right or wrong. As a fumbling teen, I groped around a bit, made out some (does anyone say “make out” anymore?), and went for it pretty much as soon as I could or was allowed.

I really believed my efforts were so incredible that there was no doubt my partner was lying back in heavenly bliss vs. the more likely reality of “Is that all there is?” But, talking about sex between men and women or more appropriately for that time, boys and girls, just was too darn awkward and we didn’t. The idea of actually expressing what we liked and didn’t like was impossible.

Just A Guy Choosing Between Wife and Kids

Posted on October 11, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

The classic second marriage dilemma is the parent of the kids choosing between his or her kids and their spouse. Recently, I faced that problem times ten with choosing between wife and kids.

First, my wife had a medical emergency that involved paramedics, 911, and a morning rush to the hospital, followed by surgery, recovery, and coming home – all in the same day. Between it all, I had to deal with my boys getting to and from school and try and do a little necessary work. While my wife was obviously going through the worst of it, I was completely worn out trying to balance everyone’s needs.