Just A Guy and Bleeding

Posted on October 10, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

I’m going to reveal yet another male dirty little secret to add to my blogs on “Looking” and “Farting.” We men don’t understand, feel comfortable around, or really “get” women and their bleeding. Of course we know what it’s about, but women talk to us about it like we would talk about having a runny nose. But it’s bleeding.

My wife just went through an emergency that related to this part of female plumbing. We ended up in the ER and I ended up doing the laundry. I held her hand, I listened, I was worried, and the two doctors even showed me pictures and tried to explain.

Just A Guy With a Lot of Screens (In His Life)

Posted on October 6, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

Screens, screens, screens. No, not the ones that keep out the flies, but the ones that are ubiquitous in our lives everywhere else. We’ve got video, cell-phone, computer, game, movie theatre, and MP3 player screens (I refuse to call them iPods as I can’t stand iTunes and their monopoly and totalitarian way in which they force you to organize your music…I have no heat on this issue – HA!).

My boys are addicted to them, as with most of their generation. And, my family would argue, I am addicted to my computer and phone screen (for e-mail), to which we finally instituted a limited after dinner policy. One half-hour is all I’m allowed, after dinner, to check and respond to e-mails. Writing and such must be done during “work hours,” whatever those are.

Fair enough, but my boys don’t have these limits other than no TV on school nights. That doesn’t mean no computer time, so really what is the difference? With YouTube, they can watch most anything anyway. With video chat and other options on the web, they’re as addicted to their screens as I may be to mine.

Just A Guy, Oscar, Living With Felix

Posted on September 26, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

The other night we had some friends over and my conservation side came out when I began cutting our large napkins in half. We were having dessert, and I thought the napkins were too big and it was a waste. My wife was appalled and demanded I stop immediately. Our friends thought it quite amusing.

It represented another time when our Oscar and Felix differences came out (referring to Oscar the slob and Felix the neatnik in Neil Simon’s “The Odd Couple,” though we’re not near as extreme as those two). I’m mostly Oscar, the messy one, but also the one that is maybe overly budget conscious. My wife is Felix, the neat one, who may be a bit anal about it in my view (in hers, she’s already let go of most of her sense-of-order and cleanliness needs by living with 3 boys and 3 dogs–I’m considered one of the boys).

Just A Guy Feeling Left Out

Posted on September 22, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

My son is almost 16 and he now has a girlfriend. Evidently it’s “official” as both have declared they’re “in a relationship” on their Facebook pages. Everyone in my family, my wife and younger son, says it’s none of my business. I can’t help it; I’m feeling left out and curious. Is this so wrong? I also want to be sure he’s handling “things” appropriately.

He has gone from being the quintessential guy’s guy, only hanging out with his male buddies, to having a posse of female friends, one “special” one now, and his male friends seem to have bit the dust, except for his band-mates.

Just A Guy Pouting

Posted on September 12, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

I find it hard to believe that I’m a grown man and I still pout. When my wife and I don’t get along and our communication is in the toilet, I am a sulking guy pouting, and take all my toys and go hide in my cave. Okay, maybe not all my toys, but you get the picture.

After all my time in therapy, all my time in my men’s group, all the ups and downs of marriage, divorce, dating again, and getting married again, I still act like a little boy when my feelings are hurt.

Just A Guy and His In-Laws

Posted on September 5, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

In-Laws. They make movies about them. They write jokes about them. They make marriages more complicated. And, I have them. Second time around. Much better, but still a challenge.

First time, I started off on the wrong foot by wanting to know why my wife had no relationship with one of her sisters. Evidently, wrong question. I then completely ate my foot when they offered to get us a camcorder for a wedding present and I had the temerity to want a voice in the choice. Being in the “business,” I knew what features I wanted. Oops.

Just A Guy Wondering Who Comes First?

Posted on August 31, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

My family continues to be the best petri dish for ideas for my blog. My wife Loren often comments to “correct” me and straighten the record. On a recent family trip to visit her parents, a couple incidents occurred that raised the question of who comes first? – friends, the kids, her parents, me?

At dinner with one of her friends, she seemed to cater to the dietary desires of their kid, who is a vegetarian. Every dish, it seemed, had to be cleared with him. Now, there were 5 others of us, for this Chinese meal, but it felt like the only one that mattered was that boy. It was very clear who comes first in that family.

Just A Guy Farting

Posted on August 21, 2009 by Bruce Sallan

Okay, let’s admit it. We guys tend to let loose with the occasional bodily “expression,” and in the case of me and my boys, we really do enjoy hearty burping or guy farting. In fact, we have a family tradition of saying “Ralph” when we burp. Try it sometime; you’ll crack up.

This is another significant difference between men and women. Not only do we enjoy it; we validate each other for a “good one.” While my wife was gone, caring for her mother recently, it allowed my boys and I to revert to our Neanderthal behaviors. You know, the stuff that comes “naturally.”