Men vs. Women: Looks #Sex

Category: Men vs. Women Series

Famous Hollywood Photo

Ahh, is there any more sensitive subject than “looks” between men and women? Yes, and I’ve covered them in earlier columns in this series. But, “looks” are a big deal in both directions for different reasons that are inherent to our respective genders!

Men looking at women aka melons in market

While I generally used to believe that men are more motivated and influenced by looks, I think things have equalized a bit among current young adults. Nonetheless, there are certain things that are clearly different between men and women and these are true even if you went to Gender Studies in college.

My regular disclaimer for this series is that I am asserting generalizations and for every generalization there is naturally an exception. So, bust my chops if you want, call me a sexist if you must, but understand that men and women are different, no matter how much graduate school you’ve gone to!

Man staring at woman - celebrities

So, in no particular order other than alternating between men and women, here are my thoughts on how “looks” are looked at by men and women:

~~ Men are motivated by a woman’s looks – first, second, and third. Perhaps, values and personality enter into consideration after a thorough physical inspection has taken place!

Comic about how men and women look at each other

I don’t like the crassness of the man’s thoughts – but it makes the point…

~~ Women care about two things first and foremost in the man they choose – money and humor – humor and money. If, perhaps, the guy shows up for a first date – as a platonic girl-friend told me about recently – with NO TEETH, then perhaps looks will take a higher rank in relationship consideration.

~~ Men like certain “looks”-oriented features in women and it varies as much as men and women vary in looks and everything else. Some men like big or small fill-in-the-blank. Some men like blondes, brunettes, or redheads. Some men go for a particular ethnicity or race. For me, I’ve had a gut attraction to Asian women all my life but, much like the lead man in the great French movie, “The Man Who Loved Women,” I’ve always liked all women when the package worked – whatever the size, color, or shape.

Men vs. Women

~~ Where looks matter to women tends to be in the height department. Those women who enjoy wearing heels tend to prefer a man that is at least their height (in those stilettos). A few women care about hair on the head. Again, I think money and humor dominate women’s interest in a man and I can’t emphasize that enough.

~~ Men are so shallow that they will obsess about the one physical feature that bugs them about a woman. Everything else can be in place but the man will only see that one annoying feature, however irrelevant it is. What acerbates this problem is when the woman points out that feature. Hello? Can you do anything stupider? I’ve had a woman point out a feature they didn’t like about themselves that I didn’t even notice. The moment they pointed it out, I couldn’t see anything else. Yes, men are shallow.

What Men and Women think

~~ The short guy can go a long way to compensate for his height by showing up in an exotic car and pulling out a wad of cash. That first gut negative reaction will mitigate some with those two displays for most women. Then, if he’s generous and funny on top of it, the woman will recognize how little height matters when they’re lying down.

~~ Men struggle to not look at that hot woman over in the corner booth. Men know it’s rude and obnoxious, but it is like an addiction for many of us. I’ve found the solution is to seat myself facing the wall. I’ve written about this male phenomenon and it’s complete absurdity. Do we actually think that said “hot woman” across the way is going to come over to us, whisper in our ear, and we’re going to excuse ourselves and meet her in the ladies room for a quickie? Do we really think that is going to happen? Yes, we do.

Man looking at woman

~~ Women do look at a man’s shoes and, sometimes, his accessories. This judgment is similar to a man’s judgment of a woman’s shape. Both are critical to the likelihood of a second date. When a man wears lousy shoes or, for that matter, dresses like I do (my clothes of choice for a long while were shorts, sandals, and an aloha shirt), he’s in big trouble. He’d better be able to compensate very quickly with a good joke or two (my savior, plus my wife now dresses me for any public outing).

Okay, I’m ready to be skewered. Let me know what I’m missing, in a comment, below…

Men and WomenBreasts and King Kong

  • jack43

    …unless, you’re blessed in marriage with a woman who understands that you’re a man and that you are going to look. So, she looks with you and you can have an intelligent discussion over the merits of the view. Of course, such a blessed relationship depends upon the man cultivating a sense of security in his wife in which she knows that the object of your attention is only going to send you back to her with even greater appreciation for her merits. (And, that’s the real “secret” men)

    • Bruce Sallan

      Know any man THAT lucky @jack43:disqus ????

      • jack43


        • Bruce Sallan

          Anyone we know @jack43:disqus ????

      • Carmen DeSousa

        Yes. Mine! If I don’t ask my hubby what he thinks, I can’t write an accurate male POV. And if I ask him what he thinks, I don’t drill him when he tells me the truth.

        Other than very young women and self-sustaining forty-somethings, I think your post was pretty much spot-on. I think the very young and the ‘I don’t need a man to take care of me’ women do care about looks. Looks were what made me accept a first dance from my hubby when I was twenty-two. Humor was what made me dance the rest of the dances with him that same night. The fact that he had a carreer is what continued our relationship.

        Of course men look. Asking a man not to look would be like asking my boxer not to drool when I’m holding a biscuit in front of him. BUT…the difference is…my husband will glance, then wrap his arm around me. He doesn’t meditate on a passing pin-up gal. We’ve been married twenty-five years, so he knows better. LOL!

        I’ll have to stop by more often to listen to more POV from a male.



        • Bruce Sallan

          You are blessed with wisdom @carmendesousa:disqus and THAT is why your marriage works. I’m assuming he’s as wise, too!

  • Michael B Smith

    Your article is right on target with great visuals (which we men love!). Another issue with men is the notion we are not naturally monogamous. When marriages go stale, it becomes more difficult not to look or dream. But it is always best to fight it and stay faithful.

    • Bruce Sallan

      @disqus_VmW3kiBq3x:disqus – so true! I wish more women understood our nature as much as they want us to simply KNOW theirs!

  • David Weber

    The usual bullshit about graduate school, gender studies and the rst. Am I allowed to say bullshit in this webpage?

    • Bruce Sallan

      Yep, you can say “Bullshit” all you want Professor @disqus_dU5ulU60s7:disqus…