This is a tough question because like most moral questions, there are nuances to it. For those familiar with AA and Al-Anon, the idea of rescuing a loved one is front and center. IF your loved one is an adult the general thinking is that rescuing = enabling. However, when do we stop “rescuing” our children? When do they begin to “own” their own actions? Of course I do not mean life and death situations, but forgetting to do homework? Do YOU do it for them?
I am on the train, returning from visiting Syracuse University with my son. It wasn’t a traditional junior-year college visit because he had already been accepted under “early decision” and had already committed. Nonetheless, the experience was probably pretty similar to the college visits many kids and parents embark on. For my son and me, it was truly awesome. Yeah, I used the over-used “A” word, because it perfectly captures the spirit of the past 24 hours best.
I’m a firm believer that if you don’t take risks, you will likely not get many rewards. Life is tough. I even think it’s tougher today – for our kids – than it was for me/us when we grew up. I’ve written about the importance of taking risks before, but I have a very personal story to share now.
The big problem of our contemporary world seems to be stress. Yes, of course there are bigger “Macro” problems, but in my life most everyone I know seems overwhelmed and drops the “S” word regularly. Wasn’t technology supposed to alleviate stress? Why has this happened? In my usual fashion, I have meticulously researched this subject and here forth my conclusions.
My older son just moved into his own place, with two roommates. I played no part in its choice or the details of when, how, and how much other than some minor consulting. And, I didn’t even visit his place until two weeks after he’d moved in. Much to my surprise, I felt confused feelings (melancholy) after the visit and I’ve been pondering the reasons since.
Given the incredible difficulty our young adult children are having securing good employment and paying for their lives, an adult child that gets his own place is obviously a good thing. Yes, to a small degree, I am still helping my son but he is now paying his own bills, managing his own money, and hanging onto his own job.
Sometimes, I envy my dogs’ lives! So simple. The world is a complicated place these days – always has been. But, as a parent we face concerns beyond ourselves. Let’s share what is on OUR minds – whether it be serious or light this Thursday, March 5 at 6:00 p.m. PT/9:00 p.m. ET. I might have a cool giveaway, too!
This week’s #DadChat on Thursday, February 19 at 6:00 p.m. PT/9:00 p.m. ET is going to be EXTRA special because we have two very special sponsors AND we’re doing it LIVE from San Francisco. The Dad 2.0 Summit is being held this year in San Francisco and we’re helping launch this incredible event on the first night of the Summit. Our sponsors are Dove Men+Care (@DoveMenCare) and The #Dad2Summit. We’re going to talk about What DEFINES us – men AND women. What is #RealStrength? And, we will have some great prizes.
First, let’s have a big HOORAY for the Dove Men+Care Real Strength campaign and their awesome commercial that shows Care Makes A Man Stronger: