Modern Relationships Stink

Category: Weekly Columns

Old comic about relationships

The other night my wife and I went on a date night to a very nice restaurant. We had a very nice waitress who was attractive, friendly, and declared almost immediately that she wasn’t going to have any children. Huh? I then asked her if she had a boyfriend. She instantly and disdainfully said, “No way.”

International symbol for marriage

Another thing that totally bothered this young woman was the fact that most of the guys her age were still living at home with their parents. Here she was fully supporting herself and her beloved dog, while these “boys” – aka young men in their mid-twenties – were home playing video games and having mom do their laundry.

Upon further questioning, we learned from her that “ALL the boys live at home with their parents and expect me to pay for everything.” My wife chirped up that she would NOT ever put up with that. What followed, between my wife and I, was a discussion of why this had occurred among today’s younger generation!

Men and Women comic

I’ve written before about the fact that presently 85% of college graduates come back home to live for extended periods of time: 85 PER CENT! That is unprecedented in modern American history! I didn’t have a single friend who came back home to live – only to visit – when I finished college at 19. Yes, NINETEEN! Now, our young boys and girls may not even begin college until 19!

Why has so much changed in such a short period of time? First of all, let’s look at the Baby Boomer Generation of which I am a member. It’s my belief that, with the exception of some good music and the Civil Rights movement, nothing much good has come from our generation.

Picking up the tab

The Boomer parents have raised the most spoiled kids in the history of the world. The Boomers now run our colleges, many of our big companies, Hollywood, and the government. Their policies have pretty much destroyed the nuclear family and so many other sacrosanct institutions upon which this country was founded and built.

Now, we cannot have The Ten Commandments in any public place. Christmas Trees are not allowed, let alone Christmas carols. Colleges actually have segregated dorms and speech codes now! Hello! And, they think that’s progressivism. Marijuana is legal in many states, though its potency is far greater than the drug of the hippie era. Sex? It’s everywhere and any kid can watch porn on his phone or other tech device. Religion? What’s that? And, we have sex-ed in primary school – so important to have that banana demonstration for 8-year-olds.

Choosing the bad boy

How about the role of a man or the role of a woman? Wait a minute – we’re taught there is no meaningful difference between a man and a woman except unimportant body parts (which can be changed if we wish). It’s all in how we are nurtured. It’s all about how we view ourselves. Didn’t you learn that in Gender Studies when you went to college?

Chivalry? What is that? When is the last time you saw a young boy/man open the door for any woman? But, we have equal pay for everyone in spite of the lies perpetuated by some on the left that it’s unequal. And, then there’s Title IX, which has pretty much destroyed many (men’s) college sports but now the girls can play water polo. I’m sure the ticket sales from women’s water polo lift up most college endowment funds!

Relationship Chart

Before you rail about the “fact” that women make less than men for equal work, check your facts. It’s simply not true. The reason for the so-called pay-gap has to do with CHOICES many working women make. The real pay gap is a matter of a few cents and, yes, that should be fixed. Equal pay for equal work is simply fair. But, propagandizing a lie doesn’t fix anything.

Let’s go back to our waitress and her lack of interest in dating. Who has taught the young boys/men that they don’t need to pay for a date? Who has shown them manners? Why are they acting like little boys when they’re 25? Because our culture AND government make entitlement seem to be a right – something everyone deserves.

Relationships cartoon

We’re watching tens of thousands of children cross our border with no apparent consequence. Our President is playing golf. He likes having more potential Democrats voting.

If I were an impressionable young man (or woman), I’d also tend to believe I’m entitled to food stamps, welfare, and gimme gimme gimmes! After all, those that cross the border illegally get stuff and so do most of my neighbors. With over 50 million people on food stamps, why should I work at a minimum wage job at a fast-food franchise? I’m MUCH better than that. I learned that when I look at my trophy case full of awards and trophies for JUST SHOWING UP at various school activities.

Finding Mr. Right

Isn’t “showing up” all I have to do?

So, this young waitress will work two jobs, pay her own rent, hang out with other working girlfriends, and forego having children or a man in her life. Frankly, I don’t blame her…

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  • Ted Rubin

    You tell’em buddy. Rant away! Remember most of this is the parents fault. Helicopter parent’s generation 🙂

    • Bruce Sallan

      I couldn’t agree more @ted_rubin:disqus – and that’s the irony! We’ve made the bed our kids sleep in!

      • Ted Rubin

        Yes indeed… and it is up to us to let them know it needs to change 😉

  • Guest

    Yes indeed… and up to us to let them know it needs to change 😉

  • Bruce Sallan

    @ted_rubin:disqus – this is why I sincerely believe parenting is so much harder today – there are NO institutions we can trust to teach our kids values anymore! Hollywood has NO values, schools are politically correct, D.C. is a mess, the Internet is dangerous for young impressionable kids, religion is mostly gone and demonized, etc. etc.!

    • Ted Rubin

      Oh please… blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just Do It!

      • Bruce Sallan

        That’s why I love you so much @ted_rubin:disqus – you are so tactful and sweet!

        • Ted Rubin

          Love you too buddy 😉

  • Alison

    Hence why I’m still single

    • Bruce Sallan

      Ahhh @disqus_8ABew0hgjH:disqus – I didn’t say there wasn’t any hope! I’m (happily) married – took a second time for it to work though!

  • Stan Faryna

    The world doesn’t know what it means to be a real man. Foremost, it means to be a husband, a father and a brother with all the awesome responsibilities which those duties imply. Right is wrong and wrong is right. It’s an inexplicable math.

    • Bruce Sallan

      Except @faryna:disqus, according to many there is ONLY what you feel – no real right or wrong! It’s our secular world where values are in the eyes of the individual and THAT STINKS!

  • David Weber

    Oi gevalt, what a rant.

    • Bruce Sallan

      But is it right/true/correct David?

      • David Weber

        Some of it is, I am certain.

        I disagree that the absence of cultural products such as ten commandments displays and Christmas trees is an especially big deal…or to put it another and very subjective way, my life doesn’t feel much different with or without a ten commandments poster or a Christmas tree handy.

        Easy availability of porn: bad bad bad.

        Condom lessons for 8-year-olds: that age is too early for that kind of lesson.

        Nothing from Boomer Generation other than Civil Rights and some music: first, you’ve added Civil Rights to your previous writings on this topic, you used to just say music; second, assuming that your reference to civil rights is only about the successful management of certain issues concerning race in the U.S.A., I would of course agree that changes in the ’60s and ’70s that the baby boomers lived though was a good thing; third, if by Civil Rights you mean all of the changes in the power structures in the U.S.A., not just those that involve race, I would again agree that yes, the boomers’ formative years were good ones for us; if you’re going to talk about Civil Rights only as regards race in the U.S.A., I wouldn’t want to overlook as good things the benefits of changes in power differentials in addition to those involving race (e.g., the women’s movement and what benefits it wrought).

        I would ultimately say that in the baby boomers’ first two decades of life, the cosmic egg cracked, and the results and ramifications of that have not been fully negotiated or managed yet.

        Massive sociocultural accomplishments are not always wholly “good” or wholly “bad.” Consider personal computing and the commodification of the internet, specifically easy access to the information on it.

        These systems were initiated by men (mostly) who were part of the generation (semi-generation?) born between “The Greatest Generation” and the baby boomers. Then baby boomers, such as Jobs, Gates and others, followed on from those beginnings. So that’s certainly something to be proud of, generationally speaking.

        That the internet now is a conduit for porn and other excesses is not necessarily something to pin on the baby boom generation; the originators of personal computing and the internet, and the techies that followed up with systems to make such technologies widely accessible were not attempting to get porn into the hands of second-graders, they were actually pretty idealistic about what the uses of these technologies would be.

        As is true of virtually all technological steps forward in human history, the technology falls to the lowest common denominator in actual usage. Among the early developers of the telephone, Edison, for example, envisioned it as a delivery system for music: You would get into telephone contact with a certain exchange and listen to a recording of a symphony. Very idealistic. Cut to the 1990s, though, and we’re getting interrupted at dinner by a telemarketer selling lightbulbs.

        My own personal yardstick for measuring generational greatness is: what national leaders arose from such-and-such a generation? So far, our two baby boomer presidents have been Clinton and Bush 43. I would never consider either of them to be men I’m proud to say are my age mates! I mean, out of ALL the baby boomers in all the states, the only two who came to the top were Clinton and Bush II?

        But consider: Presidents Grant, Garfield, Hayes and McKinley were in the military in the Civil War, 1861-1865. The latter three were of a younger generation than the first; Grant outranked them all and was, I believe, old enough to be their father. But NONE of those presidents had a great track record in office. Garfield and McKinley were assassinated so who knows what the rest of their terms in office would entail. But McKinley was a lapdog to commercial interests that, according to laws enacted in his wake, would make him a criminal. Grant’s admin. was corrupt. Hayes…well, I can’t recall off the top of my head what he did or didn’t accomplish, but his wife was nicknamed “Lemonade Lucy” because she was a Prohibitionist and refused to allow alcohol in the White House. So she was a lot of fun at state dinners, I’m sure!

        The point is: Commentators have since the early 1990s talked about “The Greatest Generation” being the greatest since the Civil War generation … but if the question, “Which presidents came from that generation?” is a creditable one by which to measure a generation’s greatness, even that pre-Greatest Generation Civil War “great generation” wasn’t so great.

        • Bruce Sallan

          KEY POINT David is that “YOUR” life isn’t that different. You were raised with values. Too many young people today are NOT!

          I’m with you on your broader view of “Civil Rights.”

          OF COURSE I’m painting the lack of accomplishments of Boomers with a ridiculously narrow but broad stroke – to make a point that more damage has resulted than good. Nuanced writing and radio isn’t very interesting.

          For that matter, I doubt most really great academic papers that involve true critical thinking are well-read by many outside of academia.

          I think measuring a generation by its President is even more narrow than my view…and, as you know, I believe that Bush the second was a good President. Even Clinton did some good things (in spite of himself and his Party) when he cooperated with Gingrich and presided over an improving economy!

    • Bruce Sallan

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      As ever,

      Bruce Sallan
      “A Dad’s Point-of-View”
      [email protected]
      #DadChat is Thursdays