Moral Question of the Week – When an Apology is Not Enough – #DadChat

Category: Moral Question of the Week

Moral Compass

This week’s Moral Question is, “How much should you apologize if the person you’re apologizing to doesn’t accept your apology?” 

In Judaism there’s an “obligation” each year at Yom Kippur to reach out to those you’ve harmed and seek forgiveness and make restitution. IF the person does not accept your efforts, you are obliged to try again, and a third time. After a third effort, while you are not absolved (depends on the infraction), you are no longer obliged to try. I like this method, but welcome your thoughts?

  • jack43

    An apology is never enough. It must be accepted. There’s a Hawaiian word for this: ho’ponopono [literal translation – to make right right] Generally, acceptance of an apology is earned by setting things right (although some bells can’t be unrung) and/or balancing the books with good deed/behavior

    • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

      @jack43:disqus – But Jack, what if they won’t accept it?

      • jack43

        Judeo-Christian ideology demands that they accept or the guilt transfers to them. Ho’oponopono provides the same outcome. In both, the community is then called upon to force the offended party to accept the apology or suffer the same consequences as the offenders had they not apologized. In other words, both making and accepting apologies are important to the well-being of the community, not just the individuals involved.

        • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

          @jack43:disqus – then I’m totally with you, Jack!