Guy Talk: A Man’s Opinion on Valentine’s Day

Category: Men vs. Women Series, Weekly Columns

 

Last week I published a guest blog by my friend Kim Tracy Prince — Girl Talk: A Woman’s Opinion on Valentine’s Day. I felt it only appropriate to respond in kind though I wrote why Guys Hate Valentine’s Day last year. Kim chose to write the five reasons women hate and love this dreaded holiday (dreaded – by men). I think I will do the same, though it will be a challenge to come up with any for the love side of this equation.

Top Five Reasons Men Hate Valentine’s Day

Note: I’m not going to cheat and simply steal from my previous column, though there may be repeats because they stand out so clearly to me.

5. We men don’t like being set up to fail. Valentine’s Day – to us – is the quintessential lose-lose scenario and we know it. We know it from experience and then it gets even worse each year because we’re trying to learn from our previous disasters. As we all know, that can sometimes backfire when we over-compensate with our efforts. So, a washer-dryer might follow the year we got her a vacuum cleaner and slept on the couch because we simpletons think the vacuum cleaner was too cheap a gift (which is why we thought getting the more expensive washer-dryer was really smart)!

4. Going out on Valentine’s Day is almost as ugly as going out on New Year’s Eve. Given the cheap slugs we are, every one of those special Valentine’s Day meals looks great but really costs twice as much as simply going to the local Hometown Buffet. Plus, not only do we have to pay that “special” price, but also we have to bring along all the little extras.

3. Speaking of all those little extras, over time we do tend to remember which kind of flowers she likes and maybe that brand of chocolate she likes. But, when it comes to lingerie, we always blow it. We think the crotch-less panties are dope because they’re so practical. The bras with tassels look like fun. And, of course, we never get the size right so we’re doubly screwed – though by then we’re likely back on the couch so that word certainly isn’t applying.

2. Choosing the right Valentine’s Day card is simply out of our pay-grade. Because I Said So did a comic strip on exactly this challenge! We think that music card playing “We’ve Only Just Begun” is way too corny, so we go for the one with Donna Summer singing “She Works Hard for the Money.” As for the other kind of cards, we find the sappy romantic ones…sappy. So we go for the ones we think are funny to which we get the look and a finger pointing to the afore-mentioned couch.

And the number one reason men hate Valentine’s Day is:

1. The pressure is simply too much. We want our women to tell us exactly what to do, what to buy, where to go, but they want us to KNOW! They think those hints they’ve given us are obvious when we weren’t even paying attention at the time. When we actually ask, we get the “you should know” sort of response. Then, the pressure builds even more. We ask our guy friends and their suggestions are useless ‘cause they’re just as in the dark as we are. Ugh, I hate Valentine’s Day!

Top 5 Reasons Men Love Valentine’s Day

5. It only comes once a year.
4. It only comes once a year.
3. It only comes once a year.
2. It only comes once a year.
1. It only comes once a year.

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  • http://www.drmichellemazur.com/ Michelle_Mazur

    I feel that way about Valentine’s day too Bruce. Although I do enjoy a nice dinner out, I’d rather not go to place that charges  $100 bucks per plate. I’m a low maintenance women for the most part.

    • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

      Darn, @Michelle_Mazur:twitter - where were you when I was dating!?!

      • http://www.drmichellemazur.com/ Michelle_Mazur

        I’m probably a bit younger than you…so I’m guessing junior high school :)

        • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

          I’m sure @Michelle_Mazur:twitter that you are a LOT younger than I am – I was really talking about my dating time between marriages – not that long ago since I’ve been remarried just four years!

  • http://www.thindifference.com/ Jon M

    Agree with many of your points, Bruce. Valentine’s Day always feel like one of those “imposed on us” days (Thanks to the Greeting Card Association, Restaurant Association, and Floral Association!). Having said that, I guess any time we remember the importance of a loving relationship is a time well-spent. We just need to remember it more often than one day a year. 

    Thanks for mixing it up on this topic! Jon

    • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

      @ThinDifference:twitter I actually agree that it can be a special time. Read my He Said/She Said perspective on it that I’ll be posting later today for even more…

  • Pingback: He Said, She Said: Men Vs. Women on Valentine’s Day | Weekly Columns | Bruce Sallan

  • http://generationbsquared.com/ Linda Bernstein

    I think most women hate Valentines Day too, Bruce. Too much pressure.

    • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

      @wordwhacker:twitter - not my wife, Linda…but I suppose it is a different sort of pressure for women…

      • http://generationbsquared.com/ Linda Bernstein

         Think about how much pressure we go through worrying about 1) whether  our husbands are going to remember 2) what to do if we hate what they give use and 3) how we can possibly live up to THEIR valentine’s day expectation.

        • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

          Well @wordwhacker:twitter I think you women could help us out…by being clear on what you want and helping us decide on what to do…we can handle, I think, choosing a card, flowers, and such…but reading your minds on the other stuff, sorry not in our pay-grade! lol…

  • http://twitter.com/profkrg Kenna Griffin

    I’m pretty indifferent about Valentine’s Day. Then again, Fluff always does a great job of getting me something fabulous. Also, it’s my son’s birthday, so that trumps romance any day.

    • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

      Well, @profkrg:twitter - I “suffer” the same thing when my first son was born 4 days after my birthday – thus relegating my BD to its meaninglessness anyway!

  • ginavalley

    I understand your 5 hates. We hate those, too.  
    #5 – We don’t like to mess up on  Valentine’s Day for you anymore than you like to mess up for us.  I guess in some ways we have it a bit easier, because, in general, guys seem to be quite happy receiving the same “thing” every year.  But, we still worry every year about whether he’ll be thrilled with that.#4 – Going out is tough.  We need to have a sitter.  We want to look great.  We want to get the gooey chocolate dessert but are afraid if we fill up, “gifting” later might not go so well.#3 – Flowers – good. Chocolate – good.  Lingerie – bad.  We HATE when you buy us lingerie. HATE it. Lingerie for us is a gift for you.  Plus, it’s really hard for us to pick out what fits and flatters us. No way are you going to get that right.  If you must guys must buy something for us from that store, get our favorite scent of lotion (the bottle is on the bathroom counter for your convenience) or comfy silk jammies for us. Let us buy the lingerie to use to wrap your gift in.#2 – We hate Valentine’s Day cards, too. They are never quite right.   We only care about what you write in it.  Be sure to at least pretend to notice what we write in yours.#1 – Yes, the pressure is too much. We have too much to worry about. Did we get the cool Valentine’s for the kids to take to class? Did we get enough? If I eat those chocolate hearts will I still be able to fit into the dress I bought for dinner?  Did I get my parents’ cards in the mail on time?  Should I have sent balloons to my guy’s office? Will the sitter show?  Does he prefer black or red?  Will he remember I am allergic to nuts this year?It’s not an easy day.But, I think it’s worth the effort.

    • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

      Wow, I so appreciate the thoughtful and thorough response @GinaValley:twitter plus the validation of my “hates!”

  • Pingback: Love and Kisses on Valentine's Day | Bruce Sallan Radio Show | Bruce Sallan

  • David Weber

    Valentine’s Day–ick.  I don’t see the need of it if you are essentially oriented to expressing your love for you partner to him or her, to buying surprise treats (flowers, whatever) for the person in your life…and so on.  Ick ick ice … Valentine’s Day, awful.

    • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

      BUT @7f990e539df4ddefe26884eb65a5f04c:disqus - if your partner cares, shouldn’t you make an effort then?