Is Being Right Enough?

How often have you made a choice, in which you knew that you were right, yet it turned out wrong? If we, as adults and parents, can do this, what can we expect from our children, especially our teens? And therefore we can ask the question: is being right enough?

I still can’t get over the fact that human brains don’t fully develop until their early twenties.  I learned this from a lecture by Dr. Bruce Powell, dean of a local private school, and expert on raising teenagers. So, for teens, their judgments, empathy, and other functions, like knowing when to keep their mouths shut, just aren’t present.  Yet, we expect them to often behave as if they were fully adult.

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My Son Has a Girlfriend; Now What Do I Do?

My son has a girlfriend, his first, and I am pleased that he is now old and mature enough to enter the dating stage. I’m excited for him.  In a funny way, I’m re-living vicariously my long-forgotten feelings of first love and all the nervousness, anxiety, and “What am I going to do?” anxieties I felt at his age.  Nonetheless, I need to allow him to have his space, and keep my distance while still making sure that they’re acting appropriately.  But I don’t fully know how much to ask, observe, or try and find out.  Mostly, I think I need to let him discover for himself.

We’ll start with the back-story, a familiar but sweet teen romance and how “we” got to this stage.  I fully believe this is a stage that is nothing less than good, that I’m happy about, and that I didn’t personally experience till after high school.  Clearly, this is one of the reasons for the vicarious feelings.  I slightly envy his maturity and confidence in pursuing this relationship and it also makes me proud of how he’s handled things. read more

Just A Guy Recognizing They Do Grow Up!

My best friend’s son, his youngest, has been house and teen-sitting for us. He’s 20 now and he’s really grown up in so many ways.  It seems the alien pod has left his body and the sane human being his parents raised has returned.  Such a relief, as it gives me hope for my two to know that they do grow up!

When he was my teen’s age I remember an incident that really stuck with me, when his family moved.  I had offered to help and was horrified at how they allowed and indulged their youngest to basically sit around and do nothing, while we worked tirelessly.  He was that self-absorbed. read more