Change is Good; Change Stinks

Category: Weekly Columns

The evolution of a butterfly

We all have our weak spots and change is one of mine. I know change is good – much of the time, but that doesn’t make the fact that I like things to be a certain way, in a certain place, at a certain time, certainly! I resist change. And, change fights me. We simply don’t like each other.

Ten Quotes About Change

One of my favorite sayings is, “the only thing that I control is what I eat for breakfast,” which is a perfect way of expressing my disdain for change and my constant struggle with having so little control in my life. At least eating the same breakfast seems largely within my control.

Our family therapist says that moving ranks up there on stress levels with the loss of a spouse. We are moving. We are also trying to sell one house while having already purchased another (the one we’re moving to). The other changes occurring at this same time include:

~~ Our youngest son is preparing to go off to college – Syracuse University – thus leaving us an empty nest.
~~ My selling of my beloved sports car since it’s not a practical car for where we’re moving and, consequently, my having to share a car in the short term with my younger son.
~~ My work life is undergoing re-evaluation during which time my routine has been all but eliminated. And, therefore, my daily life is all of a sudden more empty than it’s been in years.
~~ Marriage: always a constant challenge.

Three Rules of Life

I am always amazed at how my mind and emotions fight one another. We are in the process of selling a house. The word “process” is exactly the right word. It is something that takes time, goes through various phases, and requires patience unless one is very lucky.

Our house is well priced, in a great area, has already generated a lot of interest, and has been on the market for only a short time right at the beginning of the best time to sell a house. All will be well, my mind says. My emotions leave me with an upset stomach.

My mind knows that selling my beloved sports car was the smart thing to do. It needed new tires and the sooner I sold it the better since I wasn’t going to take it with me to the mountains. My emotions can’t stand sharing a car with my son, which we have to do temporarily, until he goes off to college in August.

Change quote

My mind atrophied the last time I wasn’t actively working. It took me several years to figure out the next phase of my work life and I found a wonderful balance of work in Social Media and Traditional Media. I began exercising my mind in a way that actually made me feel smarter. I made new real and virtual relationships that enriched my life. I could do my work from literally anywhere, as long as I had my laptop and an Internet connection. Pretty sweet!

Then, like falling dominoes, things went awry. First, an errant tweet caused a firestorm of hate. My radio show had already ended (my own choice) and now my second biggest endeavor – #DadChat – was in jeopardy due to the haters and the lack of (public) support among my community when the haters emerged. I understand that reaction. It’s easier to hide than take them on.

It has forced me to review how and what I want from Social Media, which until this “hate” episode, had been a dominant part of my life – perhaps too much so. How and what I think the value of Social Media is to me and where to proceed from here is the question I’m pondering (now). I will likely experiment with bringing #DadChat back – after putting it on hiatus several weeks ago – but we’ll see.

Change direction

Marriage is a conundrum and things have surfaced between my wife and me that needed exposure and discussion. A good marriage will always have its struggles and the fact that my wife is expressing herself and that we are mutually willing to work on our marriage is a testament to our likely good future together. I won’t dwell on these issues in this forum.

Faith is the word that comes to mind next. I can control what I eat for breakfast. The rest is out of my control. I hate change. Perhaps a little prayer would help?

  • ginavalley

    You are going through so many major changes at one time. It must feel somewhat overwhelming. At the same time, though, it presents so many exciting new opportunities and fresh paths to follow. I’m excited for you as I think about all of the possibilities before you.

    • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

      Thank you @ginavalley:disqus – you’re right but it’s very hard, presently…

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  • David Weber

    To my way of thinking, it’s not a matter of liking or disliking change, it’s a matter of figuring out how to become congruent with and fit into the flow, which is continual, of we think of as change.

    • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

      You’re right, of course @disqus_dU5ulU60s7:disqus but personally I still dislike change! Lol…

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