Ah, the joys of sleeping. Do you think men and women approach and do sleeping at all differently? Well, of course they do because – gulp – men and women are so inherently different, as this 25th installment in this blog series will demonstrate with its usual careful analysis, astute observation, and painstaking research!
However, as I always do, I will offer this apology up front to Women’s Studies students and faculty everywhere, as well as anyone who might foolishly label themselves a feminist. These observations are generalities and stereotypes for which there are always exceptions, though “generally” they are true.
~~ Men can sleep ANYWHERE and most ANYTIME.
~~ Women need the right pillows, heat (or cold), and the right bed or it’s impossible to sleep. The same might be said for bathrooms – if it’s not clean enough, they won’t “go.”
~~ Men never snore.
~~ Women can snore as well or better than men and, yes, I was kidding with the previous thought. I’m a champion snorer but my wife ain’t far behind!
~~ Pillows. Ahhh pillows. Men can use their hoodies, their underwear, a towel, or a pillow. No matter: it’s time to sleep.
~~ Women, on the other hand, have a sort of obsession with pillows. Sometimes the pillows fill the bed so there’s no room to lie down on it. Hello? What’s with that?
~~ Men can usually sleep anywhere, in most any position, and on anything. Of course, the recliner in front of the TV is ideal, but a park bench will do in a pinch.
~~ Will women sleep anywhere? Do pigs fly?
~~ Men sleep naked, in their underwear, with pajamas, or whatever they feel like.
~~ Women have different sleeping clothing for different seasons AND occasions. We all know WHAT they wear when they’re either NOT IN THE MOOD or it’s that time of the month. I’m thinking of a material that begins with the letter, “F” – FLANNEL!
~~ Men love to sleep with their pets – dogs or cats – heck even more exotic animals.
~~ Women do NOT and will NOT allow any animal on their bed; the hair, the dander, the dust. Heaven forbid!
~~ Men don’t quite get the idea of “making a bed” since you’re simply going to go back to it in about 16 or so hours. What’s the point?
~~ Women often have a very ritualistic approach and technique to making the bed, including the afore-mentioned pillows.
~~ Men are perfectly content with pretty much any kind of sheets and any kind of blanket.
~~ Women understand the cotton count of sheets – which mystifies men. Women also have this thing for comforters, body pillows, exotic sheets, and it all must match perfectly.
I suppose you’re seeing a sexist pattern in this list of contrasting male and female views on sleeping. And, I suppose you’re right. Men are slugs, for the most part. Women are a bit more particular. My ex sister-in-law used to use that word, “particular,” and the way she said is ever-present in my mind.
Are you “particular” about your sleep habits?