Men vs. Women: Sleeping #DadChat

Category: Men vs. Women Series

Vintage photograph

Ah, the joys of sleeping. Do you think men and women approach and do sleeping at all differently? Well, of course they do because – gulp – men and women are so inherently different, as this 25th installment in this blog series will demonstrate with its usual careful analysis, astute observation, and painstaking research!

Sleeping humor

However, as I always do, I will offer this apology up front to Women’s Studies students and faculty everywhere, as well as anyone who might foolishly label themselves a feminist. These observations are generalities and stereotypes for which there are always exceptions, though “generally” they are true.

~~ Men can sleep ANYWHERE and most ANYTIME.

~~ Women need the right pillows, heat (or cold), and the right bed or it’s impossible to sleep. The same might be said for bathrooms – if it’s not clean enough, they won’t “go.”

~~ Men never snore.

This IS my wife and me!

                 This IS my wife and me!

~~ Women can snore as well or better than men and, yes, I was kidding with the previous thought. I’m a champion snorer but my wife ain’t far behind!

~~ Pillows. Ahhh pillows. Men can use their hoodies, their underwear, a towel, or a pillow. No matter: it’s time to sleep.

~~ Women, on the other hand, have a sort of obsession with pillows. Sometimes the pillows fill the bed so there’s no room to lie down on it. Hello? What’s with that?

Sleep comic strip - humor

~~ Men can usually sleep anywhere, in most any position, and on anything. Of course, the recliner in front of the TV is ideal, but a park bench will do in a pinch.

~~ Will women sleep anywhere? Do pigs fly?

~~ Men sleep naked, in their underwear, with pajamas, or whatever they feel like.

Sleep positions for couples

~~ Women have different sleeping clothing for different seasons AND occasions. We all know WHAT they wear when they’re either NOT IN THE MOOD or it’s that time of the month. I’m thinking of a material that begins with the letter, “F” – FLANNEL!

~~ Men love to sleep with their pets – dogs or cats – heck even more exotic animals.

~~ Women do NOT and will NOT allow any animal on their bed; the hair, the dander, the dust. Heaven forbid!

~~ Men don’t quite get the idea of “making a bed” since you’re simply going to go back to it in about 16 or so hours. What’s the point?

Funny kid sleeping

~~ Women often have a very ritualistic approach and technique to making the bed, including the afore-mentioned pillows.

~~ Men are perfectly content with pretty much any kind of sheets and any kind of blanket.

~~ Women understand the cotton count of sheets – which mystifies men. Women also have this thing for comforters, body pillows, exotic sheets, and it all must match perfectly.

I suppose you’re seeing a sexist pattern in this list of contrasting male and female views on sleeping. And, I suppose you’re right. Men are slugs, for the most part. Women are a bit more particular. My ex sister-in-law used to use that word, “particular,” and the way she said is ever-present in my mind.

Are you “particular” about your sleep habits?

  • Steve Case

    I’m not picky. I can use my own arm as a pillow.

    • Bruce Sallan

      EXACTLY my point! #DadChat

  • Christy Garrett

    I can seem to sleep just about any where too. 😉

    • Bruce Sallan

      @christygarrett:disqus – I think YOU are the exceptional woman! #DadChat

  • Stacy Uncorked

    About 80% of this applies to myself and my hubby – I’ve always envied the fact that he can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, and boy does that boy snore! So much so that when I elbow or knee him to roll over, I accidentally caused him to fall out of bed one night since instead of rolling over, he inched away from the offending elbow and knee. Oops. 🙂 That’s not to say I can’t hold my own in the snoring department, but it’s usually when I have a cold and am all stuffed up. So he’s always forewarned he might be the one doing the nudging when I’m sporting a sinus infection. 😉

    As for the pillows, I’m sure he’s thankful I don’t have that obsession – but I do prefer the bed be made, sheets and blankets straightened before climbing in – rather than the rumpled mess he’s fine sleeping in. Probably because growing up us kids were required to make our bed to pristine condition. I also can’t sleep when it’s light out – which means no matter how tired I am, I can’t nap – but the hubby, when he’s home during the day, will ALWAYS take a nap…and doesn’t deter him from falling fast asleep (and snoring loudly) that night as soon as his head hits the pillow. 🙂

    • Bruce Sallan

      So @StacyUncorked:disqus – I got it this time, huh?

  • DadsDecoded

    The little blinking light on my Mac laptop (when it’s closed) can keep my wife awake. Unbelievable. She’ll ask me to get up and turn the laptop around so she can’t see it. She’s obviously not sleepy enough to go to bed. Cryke!

    • Bruce Sallan

      @disqus_eqRSc8Ss9m:disqus – love it – my wife HAS to watch TV in bed and it makes me crazy – for me, the bedroom is for TWO things, sleep and…Watch TV in any other room of the house!

  • David Weber

    “Like” to men sleep in whatever works. “Dislike” — as usual — to snarky comments about women’s studies, faculty and feminists.

    • Bruce Sallan

      @disqus_dU5ulU60s7:disqus – well, given my recents “travails” is it any wonder I feel this way, David? BUT, I will endeavor to limit them in the future…as ALWAYS, I so appreciate YOU and your loyalty and LITERALLY our lifelong friendship!