Men vs. Women: #Dogs #DadChat #Pets

Category: Men vs. Women Series

Funny dogs

Continuing our most popular blog series, let’s examine how men and women interact, view, and enjoy their dogs. Do you think there might be any differences?

As always, I will add this caveat that I am making generalities and stereotypical observations. There are exceptions to generalities and stereotypes so if you’re a Gender Studies student or professor, you might want to visit the NOW website at this point.

Cute dogs puppies

                      My son and our pups!

Herewith, alternating between men and women, my very un-scientific study of how men and women handle their dogs:

~~ Men like BIG dogs; BIG breeds like Shepherds, Mastiffs, Mustangs, and of course Great Danes.

~~ Women like little bitty dogs that make little bitty messes!

Dogs

~~ Men will name their dogs masculine names like Rocky while women not only tend to choose fluffy dogs, they will name them “Fluffy” as well.

~~ Women like designer dogs almost as much as they like designer purses. In fact, those little dogs that fit in their Louis Vuitton “bags” are simply perfect!

~~ Men believe that dogs know how to groom themselves as well as we men do. In other words: very little. What’s the problem?

Dog

~~ Women think dogs also belong in spas. Hello? What’s up with getting your dog washed for $45 at the vet when a garden hose works just fine?

~~ Men truly love their dogs, therefore share whatever they’re eating with their dogs, whether it’s a beer or a burger. And, why not throw “Man’s Best Friend” a bone or snack from the table?

Angry dog

~~ Women read up on dog-care so no feeding at the table, no chocolate, no beer, NO FUN for Fluffy!

~~ When a man’s dog takes a whiz, said man is cheering him on with a “That’s my boy” or “Way to go, Godzilla!”
.
~~ Women are still trying to potty train their beloved doggies!

Funny dog picture

~~ Men relate to their dogs as animals, learning, loving, and grooving on their dog’s wild side.

~~ Women relate to their dogs as girlfriends, talking and gossiping with them as if their dogs cared.

~~ When a man’s dog coughs, the man thinks it means nothing.

Very funny dog photo

~~ When a woman’s dog coughs, 911 is called IMMEDIATELY.

I just read this column to my wife who, no surprise, rolled her eyes. Did I miss anything?

Our beloved Simon, shortly before he died at 13 - my wife still cries.

Our beloved Simon, shortly before he died at 13 – my wife still cries.

  • http://romanticshortsbyblee.blogspot.com Brenda Lee

    Oh I soooo take offense to this Bruce! Not ALL women like ankle biters. My ideal furson is exactly what I have. An 80 lb. American Bulldog/Mastiff mix that I named Titan. Grrrr….ought to spank you! 🙂

    • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

      @justbren:disqus – I’m sorry, Brenda…I’ll take my spanking with resolve and resignation!

      • http://romanticshortsbyblee.blogspot.com Brenda Lee

        LOL

  • http://stacyuncorked.com/ Stacy Uncorked

    I’m another one that does not like those itty bitty drop-kick dogs. Gotta have size and personality. It was the hubby that picked out our two Shelties – I would have gone bigger. At least they’re 45 lbs each, and their names are Travis and Rolex – Rolex because they’re good watch dogs. 😉

    Our dogs are part of the family and get away with just as much as the kids do. 😉 I’m pretty sure that puts both me and Brenda Lee in the ‘cool’ classification, no? 🙂

    • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

      VERY cool @StacyUncorked:disqus (and @justbren:disqus)!

  • David Weber

    Ick…hair all over the living room and on my charcoal-gray trousers.

    • http://www.brucesallan.com Bruce Sallan

      So I suppose you’d be grossed out @disqus_dU5ulU60s7:disqus when my pups lick and kiss me?!