Continuing our most popular blog series, let’s examine how men and women interact, view, and enjoy their dogs. Do you think there might be any differences?
As always, I will add this caveat that I am making generalities and stereotypical observations. There are exceptions to generalities and stereotypes so if you’re a Gender Studies student or professor, you might want to visit the NOW website at this point.
Herewith, alternating between men and women, my very un-scientific study of how men and women handle their dogs:
~~ Men like BIG dogs; BIG breeds like Shepherds, Mastiffs, Mustangs, and of course Great Danes.
~~ Women like little bitty dogs that make little bitty messes!
~~ Men will name their dogs masculine names like Rocky while women not only tend to choose fluffy dogs, they will name them “Fluffy” as well.
~~ Women like designer dogs almost as much as they like designer purses. In fact, those little dogs that fit in their Louis Vuitton “bags” are simply perfect!
~~ Men believe that dogs know how to groom themselves as well as we men do. In other words: very little. What’s the problem?
~~ Women think dogs also belong in spas. Hello? What’s up with getting your dog washed for $45 at the vet when a garden hose works just fine?
~~ Men truly love their dogs, therefore share whatever they’re eating with their dogs, whether it’s a beer or a burger. And, why not throw “Man’s Best Friend” a bone or snack from the table?
~~ Women read up on dog-care so no feeding at the table, no chocolate, no beer, NO FUN for Fluffy!
~~ When a man’s dog takes a whiz, said man is cheering him on with a “That’s my boy” or “Way to go, Godzilla!”
~~ Women are still trying to potty train their beloved doggies!
~~ Men relate to their dogs as animals, learning, loving, and grooving on their dog’s wild side.
~~ Women relate to their dogs as girlfriends, talking and gossiping with them as if their dogs cared.
~~ When a man’s dog coughs, the man thinks it means nothing.
~~ When a woman’s dog coughs, 911 is called IMMEDIATELY.
I just read this column to my wife who, no surprise, rolled her eyes. Did I miss anything?