On College, Parents, Money, And Our Kids: #Dadchat Post Script by @Faryna

Category: #DadChat

WHO KNEW that college could be so traumatic – to parents!

How do parents pay for a kid (or more) to go to college when a four
year degree costs as much as a house? As it is, one in three American
families is financially challenged by rent or mortgage.

Will the kids get an education that provides life-long competitive
advantages or just literacy and a long term debt load on student
loans? The world is amidst great change – whole economies too.

What happens if your kid drops out? Or, yikes, what if your
kid doesn’t want to go to college. It might work out for little Bobby
or Sue, but can you live with that as a parent? Without an ulcer?

Bob Dylan, The times they are a changin


It was a Double-Header of #DadChat and #CollegeCash on Thursday, May 3, 2012!

That’s what parents chatted about on this week’s double header for
#DadChat and #CollegeCash. Bruce Sallan and Jody Okun of
College Financial Aid Advisors (Southern California) led the daring foray
into a subject that runs high on emotion and, ugh, deep into
everybody’s pockets, hearts, and worries.

The Double-header #DadChat and #CollegeCash transcript starts here:


Special Guests

Ellen Bremen (@ChattyProf on Twitter), author of Say This, NOT That
to Your Professor

Peg Fitzpatrick (@pegfitzpatrick), partner at @12 Most – the greatest
list website of them all

Kenna Griffin (@profkrg), journalism school professor

Christopher Lewis (@DrCLewis),
author of The Ultimate College Preparation Handbook

Joe Brazier (@ManvDadhood), a real-life super hero and special
education teacher

And many more rockstars – too many for me to link and name individually!

Wisdom of the Crowd

The tweets listed below only represent a fraction of the chat and
participants. See the transcript for the complete record of the chat.

How do parents pay (or help pay) for a kid (or more) to go to college?

@BruceSallan: Start saving now…

@JodiOkun: There is hope for parents
applying for financial aid.

@AidScholarship: There is no way my son
could have gone to his dream school without winning scholarship

@JodiOkun: It is important for families
to start conversations early so students understand the financial
family picture

@MimiBakerMN: We started [saving]
before they even got to high school.

@LovelyLu: We just found out that we
didn’t qualify for our college loan because we co-signed oldest’s law
school loan

@SteveCassady: …start the activities
to help get some types of aid : Community Service, Activities, Grades,

@AidScholarship: @BruceSallan Your son
can STILL apply for scholarships all through college

@MukayJacked: Already started a college
fund for my daughter and she is only 2. Need to start as soon as
possible now.

@Milaspage: Guidance Counselors are
great sources for this kind of information#scholarships

@JodiOkun: so many scholarships free
sites like @zinch or you can
google the topic you want to apply for

@ChattyProf: Profs get lots of
scholarship alerts throughout the year. Then we share. Students need 2

@azmomofmanyhats: Our daughter did all
of the scholarship hunting on her own. After she got accepted, she
found additional funds at the school.

@MunkayJacked: I’ve also heard many
kids signing up to the military to get a college degree.

@aDadsPov @Faryna – struggle and failure are better teacher than success and having it easy.

@Faryna: Common third world strategy to
get full scholarships to American schools: acing the SATs, GREs,

@profkrg: I’m amazed at how many
students don’t take the time to apply for awards/scholarships I tell
them about.

Will the kids get an education and a job or a whole lotta student loan debt

@Faryna: What is the purpose of
college? Is college about unlocking human potential? Making

@BruceSallan: College was about finding

@BruceSallan: OVER 80% of graduates
come back home to live!

@Faryna: Do you believe the education
only has deep value if it correlates clearly to a professional career
and employment?

@DrCLewis: 4 year degrees are a way to
grow and learn about yourself

@MunkayJacked: Today with technology
and things changing so much many degrees received 10 years ago are
redundant now

@aDadsPov: Are they teaching ANY
critical thinking at college today? Just asking?

@DrCLewis: What are the things that
your kids are looking at most when looking for a college?

@DrCLewis: I would hope that parents
would allow their children to make the best decision with their

@DaddysinCharge: Will there be jobs for
our kids after this HUGE expense?

What happens if your kid drops out? Or doesn’t want to go to college?

@manvDadhood: #Education is great, but
is #College the best place? Not for every child!

@MunkayJacked: Seen many kids drop out
because of the partying.

@DrCLewis: [Students] have to learn how
to balance extracurricular activities with the academic learning u are
there for

@sharongreenthal: responsibility for
one’s actions is learning process in college. partying can be

@aDadsPov: 18 year old’s don’t have
fully developed brains! Especially the boys!

@aDadsPov: For that matter, my wife
says mine (brain) is still NOT developed!

@fionaannv: Daughter went to dream
school and failed.

@Faryna: What compares to college and
college life in terms of unlocking human potential and

@aDadsPov: not joking, but REAL LIFE
teaches a lot as well!

@CollegeCashMan: I have to agree, Navy
helped me prep for college

@Faryna Is it wrong for your adult
children to struggle and fight (a little) for their future?

@aDadsPov: struggle and failure are
better teachers than success and having it easy!

@DrCLewis: Too true… you have to fail
to succeed in many cases

@DaddsinCharge: I used my degree in my
job, but I didn’t NEED it.

@BruceSallan: OK, let’s talk about the
fact that NOT every kid needs to go to college!

@triplethedad: some kids much better
off starting a biz or working than dropping out after a year or

@Faryna: Where is human potential
unlocked as predictably as it is at college?

@collegevisit: And not every kid needs
to go to college at 18. For some better to wait.

@HorseMarkCards: My son left in Jr yr
to pursue own business..hurt at first,but it was great idea

@Faryna: My wind down thought: Few
things unlock human potential like Love, Courage, Justice, Fortitude,
and Good Judgment. True education, in a college or out there in the
world, must nurture these virtues above all else.

@BruceSallan: They seem to know so much yet know so little. Hmmm. I like that…may quote myself.

@BruceSallan: Next time a three-way of
#MediaChat, #DadChat and #CollegeCash

Related Blog Posts:

12 Most Educational Lessons for Kids Going Off to
by Bruce Sallan

My Boys Would be Better Off If I Abandoned Them by
Bruce Sallan

12 Most Tender Ways to Connect With Your College
by Monica Matthews

The Value of Education by @Faryna by Christian
Hollingsworth (interview)

Recommended Books:

Say This,
NOT That to Your Professor
by Ellen Bremen

The Ultimate College Preparation Handbook
by Dr. Christopher Lewis

Democracy and Education by John Dewey

The Intellectual Life: Its Spirit, Conditions,
by A.G. Sertillanges

How To Read A Book by Mortimer J. Adler
and Charles Van Doren

Never miss a #DadChat again! Subscribe to Bruce Sallan’s weekly
update on the homepage: http://t.co/NbzRdOIr


Stan Faryna

An American living in Bucharest, Romania, Stan Faryna searches for
better questions about who we are, what we’re doing, and how we shall
better know ourselves and love others. He hopes for answers that fill
the heart, lift it up, and substantiate the dignity of the human

Recently on his blog:

I find it difficult to be honest. Do you find honesty
difficult too?

Stan’s Unofficial Blog
Twitter: @Faryna
Faryna on Facebook
Soundcloud: Podcasts