I had a fight with my mature teen. I acted like a teen and he acted like an adult. I pouted. He was reasonable. I was yelling. He was calm. I hate when that happens!
It all had to do with expectations and desires, on my part, for my mature teen son to want to hang out with his dad. Our family was apart this holiday season as my wife and younger son went to Japan and Hong Kong.
So, last week’s blog was about one of the other three common couple’s argument topics, money, and I thought I’d take on the easier one with this blog – sex. Yeah, very easy.
While I declared that sex isn’t a big issue in our household, and it isn’t, I also have to admit it is an issue. There’s a movie quote, don’t ask me from which movie, that goes something like this, “He wants, she doesn’t, he wants, she doesn’t,” which sums up the stereotype thinking on sex between couples.
My recent blog about women’s bleeding provoked a comment that inspired this blog. Another dirty little secret about men, but one that I’m sure is less a secret, is how lame, naïve, and uneducated we can be about how women’s sexual parts work. And, what WE have to do to take care of them.
When I began having sex, no woman took the time to tell me what I was doing right or wrong. As a fumbling teen, I groped around a bit, made out some (does anyone say “make out” anymore?), and went for it pretty much as soon as I could or was allowed.
I really believed my efforts were so incredible that there was no doubt my partner was lying back in heavenly bliss vs. the more likely reality of “Is that all there is?” But, talking about sex between men and women or more appropriately for that time, boys and girls, just was too darn awkward and we didn’t. The idea of actually expressing what we liked and didn’t like was impossible.
What happened to kids listening to their parents? It seems whatever I ask my boys to do, the response is always some sort of “No,” whether it be questioning why I won’t do it myself or saying “later.” Am I missing something or have I just become a total wimp of a dad?
When did it become okay to disobey our parents with relative impunity? I guess when us boomers became parents and began spoiling our kids by giving them everything they wanted.