Those four words — You hurt my feelings — are my least favorite words to hear from my wife. I’d rather hear, “I love you?” What’s most difficult about those four words is that you can’t deny them. Feelings are feelings and they’re not up for debate. For most men, the ease with which we can incur those four words is a mystery. This applies even in non-marital circumstances, as I will elaborate on later.
I love my wife. But, when she utters those four words, I cringe. I used to try and defend myself once I was able to decipher exactly what I’d done to elicit those four deadly words. Now, I just grin and bear it, quickly saying, “I’m sorry.” You might as well just dig the hole deeper the moment you try and defend yourself. Trust me on this: don’t.