My Son Got His Own Place – Why Do I Feel Sad? #DadChat

BJ & Boys 9-04

My older son just moved into his own place, with two roommates. I played no part in its choice or the details of when, how, and how much other than some minor consulting. And, I didn’t even visit his place until two weeks after he’d moved in. Much to my surprise, I felt confused feelings (melancholy) after the visit and I’ve been pondering the reasons since.

Given the incredible difficulty our young adult children are having securing good employment and paying for their lives, an adult child that gets his own place is obviously a good thing. Yes, to a small degree, I am still helping my son but he is now paying his own bills, managing his own money, and hanging onto his own job.

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What really happens at a girl sleepover

When I was a kid, I did “sleepovers” at my friend’s houses. By the time I was double-digit age, it was no longer “cool” and it stopped. Today’s kids start sleepovers early and, apparently, they never end. Today, there are sleepovers of groups of high-schoolers, and sleepovers of boy/girl couples IN one of their parents’ homes. HELLO?

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Things I Envy About My Kids

We are not supposed to envy our kids or our spouses, for that matter. But, there are a lot of “notsupposedto’s” that just aren’t realistic. Spouses can be competitive while still rooting and loving one another. As with all things kid-related, when it comes to our kids it gets more complicated. There are many things I envy about the things my kids have in their lives, the opportunities that lie ahead, and just being younger and less jaded than me.

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The Novel of Having Kids

 having kids

What’s your favorite novel? Do you like Grisham? Prefer historical fiction? Romance? Epics? I’ve loved a lot of the great epic novels such as Herman Wouk’s WWII books, The Winds of War and War and Remembrance. I also liked great historical fiction like James Clavell’s Asian Saga of King Rat, Tai-Pan, Shōgun, Noble House, Whirlwind, and Gai-Jin. What about the Fifty Shades of Grey? Is that your cup of tea? My favorite book of all-time is Pillars of the Earth, by Ken Follett. What are yours?

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Maturing Into a Man and Woman

 How long does puberty in boys last? A friend of mine who shall remain anonymous, but I’ll refer to as Max, was talking with me about the question of when we “grow up.” He related his own story which I’ll paraphrase, in which he talked about the moment when he “became a man” to quote him. It was…in his thirties!

The story Max told was that prior to this incident, which he defined as his turning point towards maturing into a man, he had always struggled with standing up for himself. Why he felt this was the essential ingredient in defining himself as a man is his personal decision, but it’s interesting nonetheless.

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