Don’t Give In! – Stick With Your Rules

Nobody promised that being a parent would be easy nor were we assured that we’d get kids that were easy to handle. If you’re like most of us, you face regular challenges to your authority, your rules, and the way you expect your kids to behave. As with much in life, there’s room for compromise, but with parenting I suggest that if you stick with your rules it defines your values and teaches your children valuable lessons.  The first rule must be that you tell the truth.

It’s a simple idea to tell the truth, but not always so simple to execute in real-life family situations. For instance, what do your kids really hear when you say something like, “If you do this fill-in-the-blank thing, you’re gonna be grounded” with stern parental authority. Most kids will interpret that to mean, “Well, I sure hope you won’t do that, but I’ll forgive you when you do because I love you so much and want to be your best friend.”  The result?  You haven’t told the truth or stood by your word. The kids then know they can manipulate you.

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Did I Learn Anything This Past Holiday Season?

Every holiday season brings both wonderful times and challenging family situations for most of us, my family included.  This past holiday season included the first visit to our home of my in-laws, the first time my sons and I would be apart, and the first time my wife and I would be apart during this festive time of the year.  Can I say I learned more about our relationships?  You bet.  Was it easy and fun?  You be the judge.

Let’s start with the in-laws.  Like many things, I had expectations about how we’d all relate and get along, mostly based on our previous visits together at their home in Vancouver, B.C.  But, as I never seem to learn or remember, expectations rarely turn out as expected.  In this case, I am very pleased to say they turned out better. read more