Just A Guy With a Lot of Screens (In His Life)

Screens, screens, screens.  No, not the ones that keep out the flies, but the ones that are ubiquitous in our lives everywhere else.  We’ve got video, cell-phone, computer, game, movie theatre, and MP3 player screens (I refuse to call them iPods as I can’t stand iTunes and their monopoly and totalitarian way in which they force you to organize your music…I have no heat on this issue – HA!).

My boys are addicted to them, as with most of their generation.  And, my family would argue, I am addicted to my computer and phone screen (for e-mail), to which we finally instituted a limited after dinner policy.  One half-hour is all I’m allowed, after dinner, to check and respond to e-mails.  Writing and such must be done during “work hours,” whatever those are.

Fair enough, but my boys don’t have these limits other than no TV on school nights.  That doesn’t mean no computer time, so really what is the difference?  With YouTube, they can watch most anything anyway.  With video chat and other options on the web, they’re as addicted to their screens as I may be to mine. read more

Male and Female Roles in Our Politically Correct Society

I am more and more troubled by how male and female roles in our politically correct society have evolved.  Clearly, I may just not fully understand and accept these changes, but I want to understand for the sake of my boys. I’m trying to teach them to be men, how to treat women, and to prepare my sons for the current social environment and workplace that we live in.  And, frankly, I need to learn and adjust for myself, as this column will show.

I was raised in the fifties and sixties, where men and women had casual conversational fun with each other, both in the work place and out of it.  It was fun and not harassment, to be clear, and included healthy banter and even occasional flirting.  But, today this is forbidden and larger companies have seminars on proper work behavior that, I believe, limits camaraderie and rapport between colleagues.  As communication often is via e-mail, the chances of misunderstandings are only enhanced. read more

It’s A Tech World, After All

I love technology.  I hate technology.  I get so frustrated with technology.  All of the above.  That’s my generation and definitely me.  My friend Marty is a tech world wizard, while my wife is still using computers primarily for e-mail.  I’m somewhat in the middle with my knowledge and depth of tech use and dependence, though my boys laugh at my attempts to learn anything new.  But, it’s hard to resist all we hear about what every new tech gadget has to offer, especially for us men (a.k.a. boys and their toys).

When I get a new tech device, like a digital camera for instance, I am very excited by the purchase and I take it home with pride and eagerness.  I carefully place it on my desk where it usually sits for a week or so until I muster the courage to open the box.  Then, I take out the various parts of the device, and ask for some help to lift out the user manual.  On viewing this lengthy document, in 42 different languages, I sit down discouraged, and place all the pieces and the manual on top of the just opened box, where it will sit for another week or two.  A strong drink will finally give me the courage to start the learning process. read more

Persistence–The Only Thing That Works

A recent e-mail from my oldest friend, a college professor, stimulated me to reflect on how we search and find work, as well as in small business how we promote and sell ourselves.  On this subject, I’ve observed my teen son’s failed efforts to find a summer job.  And, finally, I’ve thought about my own recent efforts in designing and launching my own website (www.brucesallan.com).  For me, throughout my life, there was only one thing that worked and it was persistence.  I believe, especially in our present economic times, persistence is the primary thing that works.

My old friend the professor had a whole list of very sharp suggestions on how I could better brand (contemporary slang for identifying yourself or your company, as with Nike’s swoosh) my site, my work, and myself.  They ranged from hiring a consultant to doing informational interviewing, as well as developing an “elevator speech” (means exactly what you’d expect—a short enough description of your work that could be told in an elevator ride), and much more.  As I read and digested his suggestions, I was struck by the fact that my initial reaction was “this is just too much work” and “I like my style better.” read more

Don’t Take It Personally

I know my column is from my personal perspective, and often about my personal life. Yet I feel this topic is more confessional than many others and affects me too often. I take things too personally. Having this deficiency is truly toxic when you are raising kids or beginning a new marriage, both of which define my present state of affairs.

Let’s give some examples and see how many of you relate to them. Easy ones are when ShortRib (my wife) isn’t smiling, isn’t talking much, or doesn’t respond quickly to an e-mail, or text of mine. I always assume that it’s my fault or something I’ve done. read more