Who Said Marriage Should be Work?

I recently learned some statistics that surprised me, but upon reflection they really made sense.  What do you think the rate of divorce is between first, second, and third marriages?  Think about it.  I didn’t and came to the wrong conclusion.

It’s pretty much agreed by most experts that first marriages end in divorce about 40-50% of the time.  What surprised me is that the divorce rate increases with second marriages to something like 60% and more, while third marriages end in divorce at least 70% of the time.

My first gut reaction was that we would have learned from prior mistakes, we’d be wiser with the experience of living through a marriage and divorce, and maybe, just maybe, we may have learned something about our contributions to the break-up.  And, therefore, we’d not repeat destructive behaviors. read more

In-Laws, Second Marriages, and Baggage

I believe all clichés are generally true.  How else could something become a cliché in the first place?   Not surprisingly, then, all the clichés about second marriages are true.  Indeed, comedy careers have been built around jokes about a second set of in-laws, second husbands or wives, and blended families. For good reason: in-law jokes, and family relationship humor can be hysterical–sometimes.

In a second marriage, couples want to believe that they’ve learned something from the first one and they’re going to take all that hard-earned experience and apply it, making the second marriage work beautifully.  Hmmm, is that why there’s a higher incidence of divorce in second marriages and an even higher divorce rate in third and fourth marriages?  It is sad, but true. read more