Guy Talk: A Man’s Opinion on Valentine’s Day

Category: Men vs. Women Series, Weekly Columns


Last week I published a guest blog by my friend Kim Tracy Prince — Girl Talk: A Woman’s Opinion on Valentine’s Day. I felt it only appropriate to respond in kind though I wrote why Guys Hate Valentine’s Day last year. Kim chose to write the five reasons women hate and love this dreaded holiday (dreaded – by men). I think I will do the same, though it will be a challenge to come up with any for the love side of this equation.

Top Five Reasons Men Hate Valentine’s Day

Note: I’m not going to cheat and simply steal from my previous column, though there may be repeats because they stand out so clearly to me.

5. We men don’t like being set up to fail. Valentine’s Day – to us – is the quintessential lose-lose scenario and we know it. We know it from experience and then it gets even worse each year because we’re trying to learn from our previous disasters. As we all know, that can sometimes backfire when we over-compensate with our efforts. So, a washer-dryer might follow the year we got her a vacuum cleaner and slept on the couch because we simpletons think the vacuum cleaner was too cheap a gift (which is why we thought getting the more expensive washer-dryer was really smart)!

4. Going out on Valentine’s Day is almost as ugly as going out on New Year’s Eve. Given the cheap slugs we are, every one of those special Valentine’s Day meals looks great but really costs twice as much as simply going to the local Hometown Buffet. Plus, not only do we have to pay that “special” price, but also we have to bring along all the little extras.

3. Speaking of all those little extras, over time we do tend to remember which kind of flowers she likes and maybe that brand of chocolate she likes. But, when it comes to lingerie, we always blow it. We think the crotch-less panties are dope because they’re so practical. The bras with tassels look like fun. And, of course, we never get the size right so we’re doubly screwed – though by then we’re likely back on the couch so that word certainly isn’t applying.

2. Choosing the right Valentine’s Day card is simply out of our pay-grade. Because I Said So did a comic strip on exactly this challenge! We think that music card playing “We’ve Only Just Begun” is way too corny, so we go for the one with Donna Summer singing “She Works Hard for the Money.” As for the other kind of cards, we find the sappy romantic ones…sappy. So we go for the ones we think are funny to which we get the look and a finger pointing to the afore-mentioned couch.

And the number one reason men hate Valentine’s Day is:

1. The pressure is simply too much. We want our women to tell us exactly what to do, what to buy, where to go, but they want us to KNOW! They think those hints they’ve given us are obvious when we weren’t even paying attention at the time. When we actually ask, we get the “you should know” sort of response. Then, the pressure builds even more. We ask our guy friends and their suggestions are useless ‘cause they’re just as in the dark as we are. Ugh, I hate Valentine’s Day!

Top 5 Reasons Men Love Valentine’s Day

5. It only comes once a year.
4. It only comes once a year.
3. It only comes once a year.
2. It only comes once a year.
1. It only comes once a year.

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