Stuck Between My Wife and the Kids

In every marriage, spouses face an inevitable choice between their children and their spouse. It is a classic dilemma that confronts every couple and one that is inescapable and difficult. It is especially true in second marriages, like mine.  I have to admit, it is an ongoing issue in our home and one I’m trying to figure out with the right amount of love and respect shown towards everyone.

Some therapists advise that the husband/wife should always come first. Others, like Dr. Laura, advise to always put the kids first.  As with much of her advice, I think it’s too cut-and-dried and doesn’t take into consideration the grays of life.  In my case, I was raising my boys alone for several years and the bond we had was deep, plus the hurt from their mom abandoning them was deep and different for each of them. read more

Just A Guy Feeling Left Out

My son is almost 16 and he now has a girlfriend.  Evidently it’s “official” as both have declared they’re “in a relationship” on their Facebook pages.  Everyone in my family, my wife and younger son, says it’s none of my business.  I can’t help it; I’m feeling left out and curious.  Is this so wrong?  I also want to be sure he’s handling “things” appropriately.

He has gone from being the quintessential guy’s guy, only hanging out with his male buddies, to having a posse of female friends, one “special” one now, and his male friends seem to have bit the dust, except for his band-mates. read more

Just A Guy and His In-Laws

In-Laws.  They make movies about them.  They write jokes about them.  They make marriages more complicated.  And, I have them.  Second time around.  Much better, but still a challenge.

First time, I started off on the wrong foot by wanting to know why my wife had no relationship with one of her sisters.  Evidently, wrong question.  I then completely ate my foot when they offered to get us a camcorder for a wedding present and I had the temerity to want a voice in the choice.  Being in the “business,” I knew what features I wanted.  Oops. read more