I had a fight with my mature teen. I acted like a teen and he acted like an adult. I pouted. He was reasonable. I was yelling. He was calm. I hate when that happens!
It all had to do with expectations and desires, on my part, for my mature teen son to want to hang out with his dad. Our family was apart this holiday season as my wife and younger son went to Japan and Hong Kong.
I’d planned to go skiing with my older one, though he’s historically never really liked it. However, his girlfriend loves to snowboard (which is what he did) so I thought he’d like to get better for when they might go together. He agreed to spend the time in the mountains with me and I told him he could bring a guy friend.
As it got closer, none of his friends could come, and the week of the trip he started talking “bailing.” I got nuts, yelled and screamed and otherwise ranted and behaved like a baby. He, on the other hand, was calm and offered reasonable counter arguments to my out-of-control yelping. Granted, he still waited till the last minute and was leaving me “high and dry,” but the truth was he never really wanted to go in the first place.
I never really gave him the room to say so. I was the immature one; he ultimately showed poise and moderation under the fire of my ire. Ha. Goes to show that it really is true. What do I know? I’m just a guy.