I remember when my dad had the sex talk with me. It was at a BBQ joint with sawdust on the floor. He talked mostly in euphemisms and I didn’t really understand much at all. Not a great beginning as I fumbled along for years to come.
However, I was determined to handle things differently with my boys and, as luck and coincidence had it, I ended up having the sex talk with each boy in the past few months. I sort of had it with my older one before, but he’d gotten a girlfriend and I had to be sure he understood the rules, obligations, and risks. So, we had a second talk, so I could be confident he knew the basics.
With my youngest, it occurred spontaneously the other evening at a crowded Japanese restaurant. It was amazing how little he understood or knew from school. For instance, he thought a woman could get pregnant any time of the month.
Also, he had little knowledge of the emotional consequences and differences that sex has on boys and girls, men and women. To me, that is as important as understanding the physical risks of STDs or pregnancy. My older one didn’t have a clue about that either.
What was great, at the Japanese restaurant, is that we had this talk completely in Japanese. Kidding. No, what was great was how he paid attention, asked questions, making this that sort of cherished dad-son moment that makes parenting worthwhile. It was also funny how much he “shushed” me. But, what do I really know; I’m just a guy.