I know this cartoon applies more to couples than to parents, but I loved it so chose to include it anyway!
The myth of quality time? Yes, Quality Time is a myth! The ONLY thing kids understand is Quantity Time. That is our topic this Thursday, January 10th from 6:00 – 7:00 p.m. PT/9:00 – 10:00 p.m. ET. Your homework is: The Best Of: There’s No Such Thing as Quality Time. And, you will be quizzed…lol.
Happy New Year everyone. How about skipping that $5 Starbucks latte and splurging $2.99 (for the Kindle on Amazon) or $2.79 for the PDF of my new e-book? Enjoy my own informercial for it! This e-book is really a virtual journey. It’s filled with 100 photos, 7 original videos, and links to many of the stops on the trip. Click on the book cover image below to find your purchase options:
This post will inaugurate a “Best Of” series of column re-runs — early “A Dad’s Point-of-View” columns that may not have seen much in the way of readers. Thankfully, my writing and Social Media work have grown considerably since I began writing way back when. What I strived to do from the onset was to write about topics that had what I like to call evergreen value, meaning the topic was not time-sensitive.
First air date: Thursday, October 13, 2011
Wayne Levine (BetterMen.org) for “The Men’s Room”
Pastor Drew Sams (We Will Sing a New Song) for “Teen Rap”
Rick Calvert talking about Blogworld.
This show is about Quality Time Vs. Quantity Time.
One of my very first A Dad’s Point-of-View columns addressed the issue of Quality Time. It has become an “evergreen,” one of the columns that I believe has enduring value and that I send out to all new papers and web sites when they begin carrying my work. It’s an evergreen because it is so true. Forget what you read in new age parenting books about Quality Time. There is NO SUCH THING.
In that first column, I shared two examples of how quantity time resulted in quality time with my younger son. Both cases were not planned and both examples were open-ended as it related to time. Kids have their own timetable about opening up and it’s not something you can schedule like their dentist or doctor appointments.
I learned something very simple, very basic, and very important about parenting while on vacation, overseas, these past three weeks. I was being selfish. I have two teenagers who needed their dad, and this three-week trip was an indulgence that wasn’t necessary, was too long, and resulted in my not being there for my older son when he needed me.
As luck would have it, I got sick and we returned a few days early, right as his crisis was in full bloom. Only due to this odd, lucky timing was I able to get down and talk with him, and address his anger and issues. I could support him as he continues to struggle through his teenage hormonal and otherwise raging insanity. In other words–normal teen growth and development.
I just returned from one of the best three-day trip of my parenting life. My son, Will, not yet 16, and two of his female friends and I drove to San Francisco to attend the Outside Lands Music Festival. It’s an all-day late-into-the-night, music festival on the Polo Fields at Golden Gate Park. There are multiple rock and roll acts performing simultaneously on several stages throughout the festival grounds.
The list of performers included such well-known acts as Incubus, Pearl Jam, Tom Jones (yes, that Tom Jones who has become a sort of icon to the younger set), The Black-Eyed Peas, and The Dave Matthews Band. On the more obscure side, especially to this ol’ middle-aged dude were acts I’d never heard of including Gooferman, Zap Mama, Kinky, Q-Tip, Albino, Dirty Rotten, TV on the Radio, Ween, Lenka, Cage the Elephant, and Heartless Bastards. Honestly, I didn’t make up any of these names.
One of the wonders of the Internet and my writing has been the reach it’s had globally. Not long ago, I received an email that began with “G’Day” from a man named Darren who had come across one of my columns. He wrote a wonderfully complimentary note and also told me about his fathering website and business. Clearly, though we live literally on opposite sides of the globe, our values united us instantly.
I asked him to send me something that expressed his views and what his site offers which is centered on adventures with fathers and their children, boys or girls. He also included some very relevant data that I totally agree with and that also makes me sad to read. How so many parents can spend so little time with their offspring is a mystery to me. The lasting damage is incalculable. I’m often struck by the clearly documented fact that human beings tend to recreate behavior they’ve learned whether it’s good or bad. That’s why abused children often become abusing parents. It defies logic, to me, but the evidence is overwhelming.