What Will I Leave My Boys

The recent death of Steve Jobs was yet another stark reminder of the fragility of life. No matter how rich or famous you are, the grim reaper does not care. While I won’t admit how close in age Jobs and I are, I will admit that I fully recognize that my life could end any moment, though I pray it doesn’t. There is still too much to do, see, and too much work left to do.

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Is Being Right Enough?

How often have you made a choice, in which you knew that you were right, yet it turned out wrong? If we, as adults and parents, can do this, what can we expect from our children, especially our teens? And therefore we can ask the question: is being right enough?

I still can’t get over the fact that human brains don’t fully develop until their early twenties.  I learned this from a lecture by Dr. Bruce Powell, dean of a local private school, and expert on raising teenagers. So, for teens, their judgments, empathy, and other functions, like knowing when to keep their mouths shut, just aren’t present.  Yet, we expect them to often behave as if they were fully adult.

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Who Said Marriage Should be Work?

I recently learned some statistics that surprised me, but upon reflection they really made sense.  What do you think the rate of divorce is between first, second, and third marriages?  Think about it.  I didn’t and came to the wrong conclusion.

It’s pretty much agreed by most experts that first marriages end in divorce about 40-50% of the time.  What surprised me is that the divorce rate increases with second marriages to something like 60% and more, while third marriages end in divorce at least 70% of the time.

My first gut reaction was that we would have learned from prior mistakes, we’d be wiser with the experience of living through a marriage and divorce, and maybe, just maybe, we may have learned something about our contributions to the break-up.  And, therefore, we’d not repeat destructive behaviors. read more